January 26, 2005

Why I've Been Gone for Two Days

Me: My cable Internet is extremely slow all of a sudden. Are you having a service interruption in my neighborhood?

Comcast representative: Hold on.

[Fifteen minutes pass]

Me: Um, are you still there?

Rep: Yeah. Hold on.

[Ten minutes pass]

Me: Hello? Anyone?

Rep: Yeah. Is your modem plugged in?

Me: Yes.

Rep [typing]: I'm running a scan of your system. Is the standby light blinking?

Me: There is no standby light.

Rep: Huh? What do you mean, no standby light?

Me: No. Standby. Light.

Rep: Um, well, push the button on the modem.

Me: The modem doesn't have any buttons.

Rep: No buttons? Um, hold on. [type type type] I'm showing that everything is fine with your system.

Me: Well, it was just running slow, but now I seem to have no Internet access whatsoever. Good job on that. [Bitter rage begins to swell within my heaving breast.]

Rep: Yeah, we'll have to send out a tech. I have an appointment available next Tuesday. But really, as far as I can tell, everything is fine.

[My shrieks of impotent rage fill the atmosphere.]

Me: Tuesday will be fine.


twirl said...

Gotta love it when "the computer says..."

Hope things get fixed for you.

DeadBug said...

Being without internet access is torture, like bamboo under the fingernails...