January 13, 2005

I Will Be Very Bored This Weekend

I've been trying all morning to think of something funny, or at least vaguely interesting to say, and so far, I've got nothing. It's been insanely busy at work, which is sapping my brain cells of any shred of creative power they might have. However, today is much better. Today, I'm working at home. And tomorrow too. And then it's the weekend, and then we get MLK Day off. All in all, I'm going to be at home for FIVE DAYS IN A ROW. What the hell am I going to do with myself?

To answer that question, I went to Blockbuster last night and took advantage of their new no-late-fees (sort of) plan and rented a slew of movies. Then, this morning, the King called:

"Well, why don't you clean the house? I know the refrigerator and oven need cleaning, because you always do that before I come home from a trip. And why don't you take the dog for a walk? And why don't you reattach the siding that blew off the house last month?"

Why do all his suggestions involve work? My plan was to lie on the couch for sixteen or seventeen hours, order a pizza, lie on the couch some more, and then go to bed. What's wrong with that?

It was really good to hear from him. He's doing well, and has been really busy getting ready to leave Afganistan and come home in three weeks. Next week he has to take this very important, very long test, because he's up for a promotion to Navy Chief this year. For you non-Navy types, that's a really, really big deal, and very few people make it that high. In fact, it has always been the pinnacle of his career goals. He was eligible last year but didn't make it, although he was close. The fact that he hasn't been to Iraq is a negative, but going to Afganistan twice may help make up for that this year. [fingers crossed] It'll be months and months before we find out if he made it, but this big test is the first step.

All right, I really am supposed to be working, even if I am in my pajamas. I think I'll go masturbate and then get back to it. (I take a great and perverse joy in looking at Internet porn when I'm supposed to be working.)

(God, I hope no one I work with reads this blog. There goes my good job reference.)

1 comment:

akeeyu said...


That reminds me of my favorite Kids In The Hall quote:

"You know those days when you just want to watch TV, eat corn chips, and masturbate? Sure you do."