Fourteen days! In fourteen days, my husband will be coming home. I cannot wait. I can't even think of anything funny or clever to say, especially because lovely Bugs beat me to the "Return of the King" comment. Let me just say that in fourteen days, I will be a happy, happy woman, and in fifteen days, I will get to have sex for the first time in over three months.
Why fifteen days, you ask? Well, let's just say that 10 hours sitting at a dusty airport in Afganistan, then 5 hours in a UN cargo plane, then another 14 hours in a regular plane, then some more hours in an airport somewhere in Europe, then 9 hours in a plane on the way to the U.S., then an hour waiting at Dulles for your bags, and finally a 45-minute taxi ride home does not a sexy husband make. It makes a smelly, bad-breathed, exhausted, but ever-so-lovely husband who needs a long shower and a good night's sleep before he's ready to do the deed. Trust me, it's not that he can't or that he's lacking anything in the virility department, it's just that, at that point, who would want to?