December 21, 2004

What a Downer I Am

I was going to post the most boring blog entry ever, but then I went over to visit Grrl, and she has good news! For once! And despite the good news, I cried. But they were happy tears, because she deserves some good news finally, after so very, very long. Her husband doesn't get a lot of space on her blog, but I know he has got to be absolutely ecstatic too. I hope they're both doing well, along with their wonderful surrogate and their TWINS!

And now to the boring part. You may have noticed that I haven't mentioned my own husband much lately, or my cycle. That's because both are pretty much doing nothing interesting. The King is well, but very busy, so I don't hear from him much, but I know he's safe. He's getting pretty sad because Christmas is only a few days away, so it's really starting to hit him that he's going to be spending it all alone. I hate that, and I hate hearing him sad. We just keep trying to think that this is hopefully the last time we will ever have to be apart for the holiday, and that next year, we will be enjoying the beautiful sandy beaches and ocean waves of Hawaii on Christmas. A Christmas palm tree would be just fine with me.

My cycle is even more uneventful--last month's possible ovulation seems to have used up all my fertility juices, because this month is going nowhere fast. My temps have been totally flat, which is sort of interesting in itself, because normally they're all over the map, but they make for a really boring chart.

Tomorrow I'm flying home for five days to celebrate the holidays with my family. I'm dreading it. My mother's Alzheimer's is definitely getting worse, and seeing her is devastating. My father, who has been caring for her by himself ever since this started, has begun to have to take her to the bathroom. I've suspected that he's been having to do this, but he confirmed it yesterday when he told me she has a bad flu and described her vomiting and diarrhea in detail. Of course, I also feel totally guilty both for not wanting to see her and for not being there with him to care for her. It pretty much sucks.

I miss my husband. I wish he was here.

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

I just found your blog, and speed read the last three months. You are a wonderful writer!

I hope things get better for you, and I'll be counting down the days with you until your DH gets home.

Wishing you all the best!

Liz
http://whereitends.typepad.com

Anonymous said...

I always hate that you get so few comments. I'm delurking just to tell you that your blog is one of my favorites. I'm sorry to hear about your mother's Alzheimers. If our building accepted pets, I would happily take your dumb dog, but I hope you can find him a good home there. Happy Holidays and all the best to you in 2005.

Queenie said...

I hate it too! Speak up, people! I want to hear what you have to say. Although if you say you hate me and I suck, I will cry and then throw things at you. And then I will writing a scathing post about you and your trolly-ness. So there.

(Also, I want it known that I did not write the anonymous, very sweet comment above. Yes, I am a total attention-whore and check my site stats far more than I actually post, but I haven't yet fallen so low as to post anonymous comments encouraging commenting on my own blog. Mostly because it didn't occur to me until just now.)

VHMPrincess said...

Hi - I just found your blog - hope you have a good holiday - I know it'll be hard. But family is important and it'll mean a lot to them to see you...

Barren Mare said...

I like your blog too. Where have you been hiding? Or is it me not paying attention? Mmm, probably the latter. Anyway, sorry to hear you are going to be apart from the King for the Chrimbo holidays- it's hard when there is crappy stuff going on, so to be without your sweetie on the baby Jesus's birthday is an additional bummer. Here, have some eggnog. Or a cookie. I have lots.

Anonymous said...

I am back to claim my anonymous post...I was just too lazy to register a profile. And Queenie, don't worry about checking your Blog stats repeatedly; how lame is it that I came back to see if there was any response to my comment? Yikes!

All the best,
Natalie

Queenie said...

Natalie--Oh, don't be embarrassed. I *always* go back to see if anyone commented on my comments on other people's blogs. Of course, they never do, and then I just feel like a dork. And Barren Mare, I love your blog! I read it all the time.