My Dumb Dog Is a Genius

I just came upstairs to write, and my dumb dog walked up the stairs with me. You heard me--walked. As in, accompanied me in a sedate and calm manner. As in, did not bound up the stairs, knocking me over the banister so I crack my skull open on the hard, wooden floor below in his enthusiasm to get to the second floor ahead of me so he can greet me, tail wagging and tounge lolling, at the top. I have never seen a dog walk normally up stairs, unless they were aged and decrepit. The dumbest dog in the world is officially a genius.

That said, this new talent of his makes me sad. I know, I should be thrilled, and my non-cracked skull is saying a small prayer of thanks for it. However [drumroll please], we are getting rid of the dumb dog. He will not be able to accompany us to Hawaii, where, if you remember, we are moving in five months. (Whoo hoo!) I spent last weekend doing a bunch of stuff to get ready for our move, and one of the things was finding out whether it would be feasible to take Orion with us. I knew Hawaii had a quarantine period, but they changed it to 5, 30, or 120 days last year, instead of the old 120-day minimum. I thought a 5-day quarantine would be doable. However, it turns out that there is a blood test Orion would have had to have gotten some time ago for him to qualify for it. We didn't know that, and so he didn't get it.

So he would have to stay in quarantine for 30 days at least (at a cost of $655). Then, if we still don't have Navy housing after that first month, he will have to stay in a kennel until we do get a house, which could be several months. I could handle spending the money on it, but he couldn't handle it. He's already extremely neurotic (and dumb, did I mention that?) and scared of many, many things. And when he gets scared, he doesn't eat. For days. The King and I talked about it, and we decided, sadly, that putting Orion through the trauma of a cross-country drive, a 5-hour plane ride, a quarantine, time in a kennel, and then a strange house would just be too much for him. I honestly think it might kill him. I think it would be far less traumatic to let him stay here in Virginia, with a new family.

That's right, we're getting rid of our dog because it's more convenient that way. Please direct your hate mail to blogqueenie@ hotmail.com. Thank you.