October 15, 2004

Stupid Ovulation Crap

Well, the nurse-practitioner from Walter Reed called and confirmed what I already knew--the Clomid didn't work, and I didn't ovulate. She said my progesterone level was very low. I didn't think it would be so upsetting to hear, since I really already knew it, but hearing it from a medical expert was hard. She didn't have any problem with prescribing a higher dose for one more shot at it, which I appreciated, but it still is crushing to know that we won't be able to take that last try at Clomid for four more months, because of the King deploying.

I know my suffering is so much less than most of the women listed on her posting, but I feel like I'm joining up more than ever with Grrl's women in pain. And like Grrl herself insists, it's not a competition--I may not have had eight miscarriages, or found out that my eggs are nonviable, and I feel absolutely awful for the women who have had that happen to them, but that doesn't make it any easier to hear that my progesterone is shitty. It just means we're all feeling shitty together.

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