October 18, 2004

I Eat Like a Three-Year-Old

I do not like to eat peanut butter and jelly sandwiches; instead, my sandwich of choice is peanut butter and honey. Unusual, yes, but not what I would consider bizarre or freakish. However, no matter what is on my sandwich, my method of eating them is the same: I always nibble around the edges of the sandwich first, biting off all the crust. That leaves the best part of the sandwich for last, the soft middle. Because I'm already going in a circle around the outside, I continue this way and eat the good middle part in circular bites, working my way into the center and the last, best bite.

My method for eating pizza is equally precise. For the first piece of pizza, I always pick the toppings off one piece at a time and eat them. This allows me to get the full flavor of the pepperoni or grilled chicken or sausage (we don't do vegetable pizzas at my house) by itself, uninterrupted by the rest of the pizza. After eating the toppings, I pull of the cheese and eat that. Then I eat the bottom of the pizza. When I get to the crust, I take one bit off each end--this keeps them even. Something bothers me about taking a bite from one end, rendering it uneven, while the other end is still crisply sliced from the pizza cutter.

After the first piece, I eat later pieces the normal way, without taking the toppings off.

Once, a coworker who had eaten pizza with me the day before, watched me perform my particular ceremony on a peanut butter and honey sandwich. He stared at my circular crust eating in stunned silence before saying, "You eat like a three-year-old."

For the record, when I actually was three years old, I did not eat peanut butter and honey sandwiches, or peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. I ate peanut butter and butter. How gross is that?


Kris said...

The best part of a honey and peanut butter sandwich is by the time you get done with it, the honey has made the bread slightly crunchy, at least in my opinion. :)

Peanut butter and butter, ate that all the time as a kid. It kept the peanut butter from sticking to the roof of your mouth. Even when it was peanut butter and jelly, it still had butter on it. Now, nasty nasty nasty.

Great post, I guess I eat like a three year old too. I even eat my cheeseburgers from mcdonalds funky. I eat the bottom bun, then I eat the meat, then I eat the top bun. Most people inform me that if we go to mcdonalds, I am not allowed to get a cheeseburger. They get embarrassed by my eating habits with it.


Sanorah said...

For me it was always (and sometimes still is) Peanut butter & Brown Sugar sandwiches.. yummy..
We also ate ketchup sandwiches while we were growing up.. sounds terrible now, I think it had something to do with that being all there was in the house to eat at the time..

I always eat the crust off of my sandwiches first as well, but after that's it's munch munch however.
I simply can not eat a kitkat candy bar without dividing the layers and eating each wafer think piece with clinging middle chocolate sugar stuff dangling.. umm...


Karen C. said...

My son only likes peanut butter and honey sandwiches. Dislikes jelly or jam, and always has. ??? I grew up on peanut butter and honey but I never turned down strawberry jam either!! I've never known anyone else that ate peanut butter and honey. Now I do! :-)