August 15, 2005

What the Hell Was I Thinking?

I just got off the phone with the local La Leche League leader. I'm officially scheduled to attend their next meeting, in September.

What the fuck was I thinking? There are going to be PREGNANT women there! And women with babies! I spent the last two years trying as hard as I could to avoid being near pregnant women because it was sheer torture watching them coo over their lovely round bellies and cute little babies. And now I'm volunteering to spend an hour chatting about breast shields and eating brownies with them. (Or maybe soy cakes? LLLers are pretty crunchy granola folks, right? Jesus, just the thought makes me want to go to McDonalds.)

I have clearly not completely accepted that I'm actually pregnant. The King is totally at one with the idea--he has no trouble discussing the fact that in February, we will be acquiring a child. I, however, am still in total denial. Baby? What baby? My stomach is suddenly as round as a balloon because I ate half a pizza last night, not because of any sort of small person inside it! It's not possible--two doctors said so! "It will be totally impossible for you to get pregnant without IVF. Don't even bother trying." That's what they said.

Shit. Do you think they'll make me try on a breast shield? Do you think I should find out what a breast shield actually is before I go to the meeting?


Anonymous said...

Okay LMAO here, I’ve got a little alien who watches too many Jacky Chan movies residing in my tummy and I’m still freaking out with a touch of denial that at 30 weeks to the day pregnant that I’M ACTAULLY GOING TO BE HAVING A BABY! I got asked just the other day if I’m excited, “um yeah I guess” was all I could stammer. Sure I know it’s real, I’m really pregnant (just gotta go look in the mirror to confirm that one) but it still feel unreal. So Queenie I hear ya!

I’m sure Lisa will (be able to) comment about LLL, I’ve haven’t gone to a meeting yet and wont be doing my breast feeding class until 9/12, so you're really ahead of the game in my book. So what is a breast shield anyway? (I’ll be googeling that one for sure)


lisa said...

LOL! Take a deep breath, hon.
First- congrats to you for getting involved early!

Here's the deal, yo:
no one's been pregnant the past couple of meetings so unless there are more new pregnant women you're okay there. Unless you don't want to be cooed over.

The brownies are black bean but they're pretty damn good. And most of us eat at least some meat. It seems like everyone is into cloth diapering but me, though. They haven't kicked me out yet.

No breast shield discussions that I know of, and no quizzes or anything, either. Just a dozen (or two if everyone shows-not often or likely next month) women, mostly early 20s to 30s, and lots of babies & kids. It's really pretty informal and everyone is super nice but not in a Stepford way. A number of them are military, too (mostly Navy, it seems).

Queenie said...

Lisa--Hey, would you mind if I e-mailed you directly? I got your address from your website, but didn't want to use it since you didn't provide it on your comment.

lisa said...

Sure, please feel free! Blogger doesn't seem to want to let me put it there otherwise I would've left it.