August 17, 2005

Way to Make Me Feel Better, Nurse Practitioner

At my four-month checkup this afternoon:

Me: So, you would be able to tell by now if I had placenta previa or an incompetent cervix or something scary like that, right?

NP: [laughing] What have you been reading about?

Me: Um, everything. Particularly things that could, you know, kill me.

NP: Well, no, you'll have to wait until the 20-week ultrasound to see where the placenta is. And what was that other thing you mentioned?

Me: An incompetent cervix.

NP: [cheerily] Oh, no, we usually don't diagnose those until you've had a miscarriage or two.

Me: But, um, wouldn't my baby be dead by then?

NP: Well, er, yeah. [uncomfortable silence] But I'm sure it's all fine! See you next month!


Anonymous said...

Okay 2 things –

Step away from the computer! Google is not your friend! LOL I so get where you’re coming from, I’m a librarian, translation a professional compulsive looker up of information that maybe I shouldn’t know about with access to fast computers and numerous online full-text databases. It’s a bad, bad thing I’m telling ya.

GAWD can I tell you how much I hated those words, “we’ll see you next month.” I was all, “Wh, wh, what? You don’t want to come at me with the cooter cam? You’re just going to listen with the Doppler? Please, please can’t we have just a quick ultrasound, can I come back next week?” It does get better.


Nico said...

Wow, I can't believe you're at four months already! Time sure does fly.

Cherie said...