August 01, 2005

Hey Dude, What's Up with the Blowtorch?

Right now, at this very moment, there is a teenage boy using a BLOWTORCH in my living room.

He is ostensibly installing an air conditioner because it is so very, very hot here, but what he is actually doing seems to be some sort of copper pipe welding project on my living room carpeting with a BLOWTORCH. And he's about sixteen. And did I mention that he's using a blowtorch???

I asked him, "Hey, do you always have to use a blowtorch to put in an air conditioner?"
He said, "Eh, yeah, sometimes."
Then I asked, trying to sound very calm and cool, "Hey, do you ever worry about burning someone's house down with the blowtorch?"
And he said, "Eh, yeah, sometimes."

Then I fled the room, telling myself it was to protect the fetus from the scary toxic smells that the blowtorch is producing, but really it was because I am too scared to watch this kid do his blowtorching, and so I am hiding in my office praying that he doesn't burn my goddamned house down.

4 comments:

Nico said...

You totally crack me up! Hopefully the AC unit is duly installed, and you still have an apartment for it to cool down. :-p

lisa said...

Hah! That's great. Let us know if you still have a house, and working A/C, okay?

And, it's not the heat, it's the humidity. Is it really hotter here than DC? I've heard DC is actually worse.

KOB said...

Loved this post. Noticed Google ads had air conditioners for sale. Amazing technology, that Google.

shawnindc said...

How does one go about taking out an air conditioner that has been fused to the apartment?

I think the kid was just looking for a good reason to pull out the blow torch. And as a matter of fact, it's a great idea.