June 14, 2005

Yeah, We Were Shocked Too

Still are, in fact. Thank you so much for your kind congratulations on my previous post. It's been five days and I am, apparently, still pregnant. Unfortunately, thanks to the high-quality medical care the military provides, I have absolutely no freaking idea how pregnant I am, although I suspect about five weeks. They did a blood test yesterday to confirm that yes, I'm knocked up, but they don't do quantitative betas, the one where you get the number that you then watch fanatically to make sure it's doubling every day. And I can't get in to see a doctor for two weeks. How am I supposed to know what chapter I'm allowed to read up to in What to Expect if I don't know how far along I am, goddamnit??

And yes, I got a copy of What to Expect. The King bought it for me. We saw it in the store, and I told him I had wanted to buy a copy for the last two years, but it was just too painful when we weren't actually expecting, so he got it for me. And I cried in line at the checkout.

And in the car after getting the lame blood test yesterday. And three times while watching tv. And once this morning in bed. Either I've definitely got that weepiness symptom, or I'm just still overwhelmed by the thought that I've actually got gobs (I hope) of HCG floating around my system.

And speaking of symptoms, yesterday my boobs were killing me and I felt totally sick in the morning, plus I took two naps in the afternoon. It was great. Unfortunately, I feel perfectly normal and fine today, so I assume that means the pregnancy's ending. Of course, I have no way to know for sure whether it's developing properly, because the Navy won't do an ultrasound until 12 weeks! Apparently they think the kindest and most sensitive way to find out that there's no fetal pole or gestational sac is not in the quiet tones of your gentle OBGYN as he or she points to the tv screen, but rather by waking up in a pool of blood and agonizing cramps.

No, seriously, I'm trying really hard not to think about things like that, although I know the King and I are both worried about it. But we're trying to enjoy it, too, especially since this is our first pregnancy--we're trying really hard to be that annoying couple who tells everyone after two days and starts buying tiny clothes at four weeks because they just don't know any better. I'm not quite there, though--I told him I can't say the B-word yet (as in, "I'm having a...!"), so he affectionately named our little ball of cells "The Tadpole." It was so sweet, I cried. Again.


Anonymous said...

My Mom worked at Tripler for years so I have some idea of the hell that can me military medicine (there are good stories but you know red tape and all).

I’ll be keeping everything crossed for you and the King and whishing the weeks away (time fly!).


penelope said...

you cliche you! getting pregnant in Hawaii. This is all very exciting. I was just at the bookstore daring to look at the pregnancy books, hell I would have felt less awkward in the lesbian erotica aisle which is where I snuck off to read them. I got a great kick out of Bun in the Oven which is hilarious and explains all that week counting business.

eat well, sleep lots and enjoy yourself!

Ova Girl said...

ooh! Fantastic news. Best of luck to you all!

Wonder if the tadpole will turn out to be a prince?

Nico said...

A friend of mine recommended "the Girlfriends Guide to Pregnancy" rather than 'what to expect'... and my sister, whom I gave it to, (she's at 21wks now) completely agreed. They said it tells you what you need to know, without scaring the hell out of you like WTE. My assvice of the day ;-)

Anonymous said...

The Girlfriends Guide to pregnancy is a great book. One I refer to often! During my 1st trimester I took about 12 pregnancy tests. Just to make sure I was still pg. Because some days I just doubted it. But here I am at 6 months and I'm still pg.
Congrats to you! Sleep, eat and enjoy. :)

KOB said...

Wonderful post.

Claudia said...

I feel your pain about military healthcare. If I were in your shoes (and please god, let me be someday) I'd never be able to wait until 12 weeks for an ultrasound, that sucks!

I do know that if you can manage to get yourself classified as a high risk pregnancy (and some ob/gyns will consider doing this for you if your infertility history is extensive and well documented) you get much better prenatal care - or at least more frequent.

Good luck to you, I'm really happy for you, here's lots of sticky vibes coming your way!