June 20, 2005

What to Expect When You're Paranoid: Three Conversations

Me: Something's wrong! We have to go to the hospital!

DH: What? Are you sick?

Me: No, I'm perfectly fine. All my pregnancy symptoms have suddenly disappeared. I'm having a miscarriage, I know it.

DH: Uh, are you bleeding?

Me: No, but the book says there's something called a "missed miscarriage," and you don't bleed at all if that happens.

DH: What are the symptoms?

Me: Having all your pregnancy symptoms disappear. We have to go to the hospital, the book says so!

[Two hours later, the obstetrician inserts the DildoCam.]

OB: There it is! A healthy fetus. Looks like you're about seven weeks and three days along. You can even see it's heart beating!

Me and DH: [crying]

OB: You're perfectly fine. Don't worry about a thing.


Me: Something's wrong! We have to go to the hospital!

DH: What?

Me: I've got vaginal discharge! I'm leaking amniotic fluid! The books says to go to the hospital if you have any leaking at all!

DH: Honey, you just got out of the shower. You're dripping water everywhere, that's all it is. Go dry your hair.

Me: Oh. Yeah.


Me: Something's wrong! We have to go to the hospital!

DH: [sighing] What now?

Me: I just picked up this enormous frozen turkey, and it totally hurt my shoulder! The book says shoulder pain means an ectopic pregnancy! We have to go now--The book says!

DH: I am throwing that motherfucking book away.


Anonymous said...

Yeah the worrying I’m not sure if it ever ends so maybe tossing out the books are a good thing. I’m currently 22 weeks and the worrying ALWAYS get worse for me just before an appointment. Case in point I just saw the doctor 2 weeks ago and the day before the appointment I started worrying that I hadn’t been feeling the baby that much (on that day not at all) = freak out and dead baby thoughts. Turns out I’ve got an anterior placenta (attached up front, not a big deal really) that acts as a cushion so I don’t really feel the baby. Okay so I’m back to breathing again but give me a week and I’m sure just in time for my July 7th apt. I’ll have some new concern.

BUT I’m glad your worrying was able to get you and ultrasound before they originally had you scheduled for one! I guess that was the “nice” thing about IVF, a lot more in terms of monitoring in the beginning at any rate.

Hey I was doing some personal research and came across this site http://www.motherscarehawaii.org and figured I’d pass it on. I’ve lived here my whole life and I’m still at a loss when it comes to where to find baby/pregnancy/you name it info and with you and the King being new here I figured ...

Good luck and don’t forget to breath!


Claudia said...

See? You got your ultrasound early! That's good! Don't worry about being paranoid and insisting on seeing a doctor. I really doubt you're the first pregnant woman to do so, and if it brings you peace of mind, it's worth it.

I'm really happy for you guys. Seeing the heart beat must have been amazing. Keep us posted.