My Kid Has a Death Wish

These are the Princess's favorite toys:

--Plastic grocery sacks, the kind that say "SUFFOCATION HAZARD: Do not give to children!" on them

--Forks

--Scissors

--Electrical cords (best for chewing on)

--Electrical outlets (preferably in conjunction with forks)

--Sharp coffee-table corners

--Pencils

--Magazines printed with toxic ink (best for days when you need to chew something with a bit more give than an electrical cord)

Being the world's worst mother, I let her play with all of the above. Except the forks. I'm very firm on them. (Remember Dirty Rotten Scoundrels? "Why is the cork on the fork?")